Words that used to…

December 26, 2012 – 1:13 am

She told me to meet her at the Down and Out and I did.


She’s doing sound there. First time doing live sound and in her typical fashion, she has her notebook, scribbling down bits and pieces of information in a way that only she can decipher.

This was last night. No…Sunday night
and I’m sitting next to her while she does sound and we’re laughing, getting along, “Hey, you should add a little more low end to that guy’s acoustic.” and she agreed and I felt like a contributor and that we were working together.
Then James shows up, out of the blue, a man she’s been seeing that she tells me she really really likes.
and I tried so hard to play it cool
and she claims he surprised her
and I said, hey, I mean, I get it, but really, did you have to invite him now?

she is so getting off on the whole thing

“Oh, I didn’t know and besides, I think it’s cute that he surprised me.” and I want to fucking die.

you shoulda just left

but I play it cool and I end up talking to James a lot more than she did. He’s actually a nice guy and I can’t hold anything against him. He seems somewhat nieve. He has no idea what kind of girl she is and I could tell he just clueless enough to protect himself in ways I couldn’t.

Well, I did leave. I left drunk. The promoter was being super nice to me and I had like 10 drink tickers.
and I was wasted
and so I left because she was being affectionate with him right in front of me and I could tell she was drunk too and I know when she’s drunk, she’s going to hurt me.
Well, it’s 3am, I’m in bed, almost about to pass out and I get a call from her
and she wants to come over
“Smoke me out.”
“Ok, I have to put pants on.”
and we smoke and we sit in her car while it’s raining at 4 am
and she pops a Xanax
while drunk
and tells me she doesn’t think she can drive
so she come up to my place and I dry her off and I offer her my bed while I sleep on the couch.
She tells me she doesn’t know what she’d do without me.
and she looks at me with those eyes that I swear were designed to burn holes through men like myself.

wishing there was some magic word I could say to fix her brain. To give her what she needs to stop searching for answers.
but I know those words don’t exist

well if you really want to know what to do to get her, ignore her
ignore the shit out of her
find someone elese

She went back to her car and it wouldn’t start

and she will be beside herself when she realizes she doesnt hvae power over you, and the tables are turned

and I called AAA
to give her a jump
and they came at 4:30am
and once again, she told me I saved her life
and she drove away
after telling me that she’s in love with the lead singer is TSOL
and he loves her too
and she read something he wrote to her
and his words were amazing
and it made me jealous

of course it did, thats what she wants

because she told me it was my words that made her fall in love with me
and now my words mean nothing

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  1. One Response to “Words that used to…”

  2. Hmmmmmmmm grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

    By Eileen on Apr 26, 2013

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